like the ocean's tide.

These feelings I have are unlike any I've ever experienced. Im trying so hard to listen to God and follow my heart at the same time. Neither of which I can decide on which direction they're tugging me in.. I feel like I have gave my life to worldly things.. destructable, degradable, and useless things. I have filled my mind with worry, anxiety, problems.. just JUNK! My heart has loved things other than You. I want my life to truely be in Your hands. I dont want second guessing, sleepless nights, or not knowing anymore. I want to be definite in You, as definite as the ocean's tide. I want to rush back into Your arms in the way the tide hits the sand. I can't stand doing this on my own anymore, Im simply fed up with this boring life. I want to come alive in You, fulfill Your purpose, love You & only You in the way You should be loved, and I dont want to have to second guess. I KNOW Im Your daughter, and I know You'll be right there holding my hand. So take me Lord. I know You have a greater purpose than this, I know I can do better than this. I know this new life is more than telling You what to do with me and mostly me being obedient but if You could just shove me a little.. like that little sailboat leaving the dock.. and Ill eventually find my way in the open seas to what Im truely supposed to be. I admit it, Im lost. Im afraid. Im weak. Im doubtful. Im everything Im not supposed to be right now. I honestly believe that can change though, I believe in God's amazing grace & mercy. I believe in His love, and light. He will swoop me up and carry me when I fall... which I have. He will whisper me words of encouragement on days I have doubt. After I mess up, the motivation to continue will be His shower of grace to go on. I love you Abba. I'm Yours. Take me back into Your arms. Dance this crazy dance called life with Me. Be mine. Forever & Always.. I love you.

mission trip.

Hello friends,

I am so excited about my trip to La Esperanza, Honduras to help minister to young school kids. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I urge you to assist me through your kind prayers and/or financial support. I will be leaving March 11th, 2011 and will be returning on March 19th, 2011. If you would like to help financially support me, please contact me at ashleyxn@uab.edu! Thanks so much & God bless! :)

♥- Ashley

The first 7 stanzas of an Anne Bradstreet poem.

Contemplations:

Sometime now past in the Autumnal Tide,
When Phoebus wanted but one hour to bed,
The trees all richly clad, yet void of pride,
Were gilded o're by his rich golden head.
Their leaves and fruits seem'd painted but was true
Of green, of red, of yellow, mixed hew,
Rapt were my senses at this delectable view.



I wist not what to wish, yet sure thought I,
If so much excellence abide below,
How excellent is he that dwells on high?
Whose power and beauty by his works we know.
Sure he is goodness, wisdom, glory, light,
That hath this under world so richly dight.
More Heaven than Earth was here, no winter and no night.



Then on a stately Oak I cast mine Eye,
Whose ruffling top the Clouds seem'd to aspire.
How long since thou wast in thine Infancy?
Thy strength and stature, more thy years admire,
Hath hundred winters past since thou wast born?
Or thousand since thou brakest thy shell of horn?
If so, all these as nought, Eternity doth scorn.



Then higher on the glistering Sun I gaz'd,
Whose beams was shaded by the leafy Tree.
The more I look'd, the more I grew amaz'd
And softly said, what glory's like to thee?
Soul of this world, this Universe's Eye,
No wonder some made thee a Deity.
Had I not better known (alas) the same had I.



Thou as a Bridegroom from thy Chamber rushes
And as a strong man joys to run a race.
The morn doth usher thee with smiles and blushes.
The Earth reflects her glances in thy face.
Birds, insects, Animals with Vegative,
Thy heat from death and dullness doth revive
And in the darksome womb of fruitful nature dive.



Thy swift Annual and diurnal Course,
Thy daily straight and yearly oblique path,
Thy pleasing fervour, and thy scorching force,
All mortals here the feeling knowledge hath.
Thy presence makes it day, thy absence night,
Quaternal seasons caused by thy might.
Hail Creature, full of sweetness, beauty, and delight!



Art thou so full of glory that no Eye
Hath strength thy shining Rays once to behold?
And is thy splendid Throne erect so high
As, to approach it, can no earthly mould?
How full of glory then must thy Creator be!
Who gave this bright light luster unto thee.
Admir'd, ador'd for ever be that Majesty!

So, Im not going to lie.. I am interested in the Puritan portion of my American Lit class.. Thanks to Miss Anne Bradstreet & her beautiful poetry. Perfect time of year to read this too, since it's beginning to become somewhat fall-like.. even though you cant tell due to the daily avg's of 90+ degrees.

the lost get found.

I was surprised yesterday when I started listening to Britt Nicole's new album The Lost Get Found. She is so wonderful, I am a twitter follower of her's and her tweets always brighten my day. Britt is such a great role model for young women like myself, and don't get me started on her lyrics; AMAZING.


SAFE:
You keep tryin to get inside my head,
While I keep trying to lose the words you said
Can't you see i'm hangin by a thread,
To my life what I know, yeah i'm losing control and
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
I'm so tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe.

I'm strong enough, i've always told myself
I never want to need somebody else
But i've already fallen from that hill,
So i'm droppin that guard here's your chance at my heart and

Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
I'm so tired of turning and running away
When love just isnt enough.

Everything you want, but its everything you need
Its not always happy endings but its happy in between
Its taken so long, so long to finally see
The other isn't worth the risk

Oh no, my walls are gonna breeeaakk
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
So tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe

Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
So tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe.

Your not safe and that's okay.

..to feel how You forgave me.

This is a spoken word drama about the women at the well who has an encounter with Jesus. This was a free download at Sermon Spice. commoncreed.infohttp://store.studentlife.com/video.php?cn=420 Read the story that inspired the video. http://net.bible.org/bible.php?book=Joh&chapter=4

Beautiful poem by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr.

THE OAK TREE

A mighty wind blew night and day. It stole the Oak Tree’s leaves away. Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark until the Oak was tired and stark. But still the Oak Tree held its ground while other trees fell all around. The weary wind gave up and spoke, “How can you still be standing Oak?” The Oak Tree said, I know that you can break each branch of mine in two, carry every leaf away, shake my limbs and make me sway. But I have roots stretched in the earth, growing stronger since my birth. You’ll never touch them, for you see they are the deepest part of me. Until today, I wasn’t sure of just how much I could endure. But now I’ve found with thanks to you, I’m stronger than I ever knew.