like the ocean's tide.

These feelings I have are unlike any I've ever experienced. Im trying so hard to listen to God and follow my heart at the same time. Neither of which I can decide on which direction they're tugging me in.. I feel like I have gave my life to worldly things.. destructable, degradable, and useless things. I have filled my mind with worry, anxiety, problems.. just JUNK! My heart has loved things other than You. I want my life to truely be in Your hands. I dont want second guessing, sleepless nights, or not knowing anymore. I want to be definite in You, as definite as the ocean's tide. I want to rush back into Your arms in the way the tide hits the sand. I can't stand doing this on my own anymore, Im simply fed up with this boring life. I want to come alive in You, fulfill Your purpose, love You & only You in the way You should be loved, and I dont want to have to second guess. I KNOW Im Your daughter, and I know You'll be right there holding my hand. So take me Lord. I know You have a greater purpose than this, I know I can do better than this. I know this new life is more than telling You what to do with me and mostly me being obedient but if You could just shove me a little.. like that little sailboat leaving the dock.. and Ill eventually find my way in the open seas to what Im truely supposed to be. I admit it, Im lost. Im afraid. Im weak. Im doubtful. Im everything Im not supposed to be right now. I honestly believe that can change though, I believe in God's amazing grace & mercy. I believe in His love, and light. He will swoop me up and carry me when I fall... which I have. He will whisper me words of encouragement on days I have doubt. After I mess up, the motivation to continue will be His shower of grace to go on. I love you Abba. I'm Yours. Take me back into Your arms. Dance this crazy dance called life with Me. Be mine. Forever & Always.. I love you.